As I write this, I'm feeling more sure about my career goals. For awhile now I've been back and forth between choices, which I believe, no, I know it's because of the lack of success. It's demoralising. Spinning my mind into a cycle of regret and losing my true calling.
I did say "feeling more sure." But as I write and think how best to clearly describe my situation, I keep weighing my choices, focusing on one aspect, and forgetting others. Maybe writing my thoughts down like this could help me prioritize these irrational thoughts. Because that's what they are, irrational.
For example. Art. I've got a natural talent, an artist's eye for creativity. Yet I doubt my own abilities, and the time it takes for those abilities to shine. Even though I've been told from countless people that I have what it takes. (And these are not friends or relatives.)
A shift in my way of thinking is needed. Especially when I tend to focus on the lack of 3D jobs between the long period from leaving University and the present. I need to accept that I lost my way a little. Take it as a stepping stone in finding myself again, and push forward. Not from a fresh start, but as a next chapter. That time is over, done. I can recall those past chapters at any time and look back on them to see how far I've come. The next few chapters are going to be filled with hard work and success. It's a change I'm excited about and can't wait to write.
I will become the artist I was born to be. I've got support from friends, family and loving girlfriend. From this day forward it'll be my only focus. Any other work I take is fluff and money collecting. I'm going to enjoy my mistakes, learn from them and grow as an artist. My goal is to work for a games company as a 3D artist.
Step #1 : Create a block out scene of my new project (The Office) and post it on the Polycount forums.
- Matt.
I did say "feeling more sure." But as I write and think how best to clearly describe my situation, I keep weighing my choices, focusing on one aspect, and forgetting others. Maybe writing my thoughts down like this could help me prioritize these irrational thoughts. Because that's what they are, irrational.
For example. Art. I've got a natural talent, an artist's eye for creativity. Yet I doubt my own abilities, and the time it takes for those abilities to shine. Even though I've been told from countless people that I have what it takes. (And these are not friends or relatives.)
A shift in my way of thinking is needed. Especially when I tend to focus on the lack of 3D jobs between the long period from leaving University and the present. I need to accept that I lost my way a little. Take it as a stepping stone in finding myself again, and push forward. Not from a fresh start, but as a next chapter. That time is over, done. I can recall those past chapters at any time and look back on them to see how far I've come. The next few chapters are going to be filled with hard work and success. It's a change I'm excited about and can't wait to write.
I will become the artist I was born to be. I've got support from friends, family and loving girlfriend. From this day forward it'll be my only focus. Any other work I take is fluff and money collecting. I'm going to enjoy my mistakes, learn from them and grow as an artist. My goal is to work for a games company as a 3D artist.
Step #1 : Create a block out scene of my new project (The Office) and post it on the Polycount forums.
- Matt.
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